Would you be an active participant in a church that believes Jared from Subway is the Son of God?

Hello, everyone! Kind of an important question here. After much thought, I’ve decided to go rogue on Jesus (don’t ask) and strike up my own church. Now, I’m fully aware that this isn’t something trivial that you do like starting up a band or buying a Brita filter. Nonetheless, God has brought me here. As a result, I’m auditioning a potential new Son of God via Google search and someone that keeps popping up after entering my carefully crafted keywords is Jared from Subway. Now, I understand that this may seem silly, as Jared’s primary function (on-the-surface) is to peddle sandwiches for a corporate sandwich shop, but I can’t think of an everyman that has inspired more hope in the world. I can only imagine what he’ll do for people when given deity status. So would you be willing to subscribe to the theory that Jared from Subway is the Son of God and also would you be an active participant in a church that worships him? Please let me know because I would like to get this church rolling, primarily because I’ve networked myself in good with a construction company that is building bingo halls on the cheap right now on account of the weak economy. Thank you for your responses and God bless!